With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
this is an emotional support booty call
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
