therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
