Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The Olympian is in my bed
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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