is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize