I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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