Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
