"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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