u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Randomize