Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
