The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
