Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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