wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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