I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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