He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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