We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Dick very happy bro
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
