Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
