he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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