He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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