remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
