sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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