Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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