He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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