Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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