is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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