Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
When did angry sex become our thing?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
