Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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