You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
