Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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