Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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