I think i peed on brittanys purse
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
