His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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