If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
