Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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