I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
