We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
