oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize