I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
