That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
my poor anus
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
