All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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