Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
