Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
PANTIES FOUND
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