I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
