Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
