Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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