Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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