my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
