grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
