I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
