Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
