Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
