Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
sarcasm needs its own font
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
