omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
