Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
