I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize