I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My balls are so social today.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just found puke in my bra..
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
