sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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