Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
