TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
